


You were right there all along

by Fafanight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, OT5 Friendship, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8376778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fafanight/pseuds/Fafanight
Summary: This is an alternative end to Everything you want, where Zayn pines over Liam thinking he would never love him back cause Liam is straight, right?





	

-Hi, babe.

Zayn looks up from the counter, surprised, to find Liam, his best friend for as long as he could remember, entering the shop.

-Hey…, he replies, hesitantly. What are you doing here?  
-Wanted to see you. Seems like I haven’t seen you in ages. Have you been avoiding me?

Zayn was working another evening shift at the bookstore. There wasn’t any customer at the moment, so having a little chat with Liam wouldn’t be much trouble. That is, on normal circumstances. Because Liam was right. They haven’t hanged out much lately. But Zayn can’t exactly tell him why. And he doesn’t really want to deal with Liam at all right now.

-No, I haven’t. I just… I got more shifts, as you can see. Plus, I wanted to give you some space so you can spend some time with Danielle…

Danielle was Liam’s ex-girlfriend, who got back in town after a year away. Zayn wasn’t Danielle’s greatest fan, to say the least. Blame it on the fact that Danielle cheated on Liam and broke his heart. Or on the fact that Zayn has been in love with Liam for years now. He never said anything about it though, convinced that Liam was nothing but straight and he’d never feel the same about him. The ‘Fell in love with my best friend’ cliché. So, of course, seeing Danielle getting back in Liam’s life wasn’t the best news, if you asked Zayn.

-I never asked you to do that. And once again, Danielle and I are just friends. I thought I wanted her back, but I was wrong.  
-Well, that’s not what she says.  
-I don’t care what she says. If she’s imagining things, that’s her problem.  
-On the other hand…  
-What?

Zayn hesitates and sighs before answering. He doesn’t want to get in another fight with Liam. It’s like that’s all they’re doing lately, every time they see each other. And that’s because of Danielle.

-You took her to our gathering with the band in the park the other day. You bring her everytime we hang out actually. And you keep mentioning her when we’re just the two of us. So if I were avoiding anyone here, it would be her, ok?

It’s true. Zayn tried, though. He really tried for Liam’s sake. He tried to be civilized around Danielle. But it was too hard. He physically couldn’t stand being near her. He couldn’t fathom how someone would cheat on Liam or just willingly hurt him. He had arguments after arguments with Liam about that, not understanding how he could allow her in their little group again after what she did. Zayn wanted to protect him, like he always felt entitled to. But Liam… Well, being the kind and loving guy he is, he didn’t tell Danielle to get lost but seemed to be happy to see her again and forgave her. More than that, he had spent a lot of time with her lately. And Zayn just couldn’t have any of that. So he backed out, thinking that’s what Liam wanted.

-I’m sorry about that. I really am. I guess… I lost track of …

Zayn looks up, raises an eyebrow at that. Liam seemed,… well whatever it was it leaves his features pretty fast.

-But don’t change the subject. Where have you been, Z.? I missed you. And you know I don’t like missing you.  
-I’m sorry. I just got a lot on my hands.  
-You shut me out! You won’t take my calls and don’t answer my texts.  
-For God’s sake Li, stop acting like a fucking child. I did not shut you out.  
-Oh yeah? Then why are you leaving?  
-What????  
-You heard me. You’re going to Harvard? To fucking Massachussets?  
-How do you… Fucking Louis! He’s so dead. The guy can’t keep his mouth shut. I’m gonna kill him

Zayn told Louis when the acceptance letter had arrived. He couldn’t believe it and needed to talk to someone about it. At first, he thought he shouldn’t go and leave Liam behind. But since Danielle came back… Maybe Liam didn’t need him around anymore. Then why does he seem so angry and hurt?

-Don’t blame this on Louis, ok? I didn’t even know you had applied in the first place. When did you plan to tell me?  
-I don’t know. I was still trying to figure this out, ok? Look, when I talked about this with Louis, I was just thinking out loud. Just… considering all my options and the possibility of going. I hadn’t made my mind up yet back then.  
-Hadn’t? Meaning you have now, right?  
-I have, yeah.  
-And?  
-I’m going.  
-You’re…you’re going?  
-Yes, Liam. I’m going. I need this.  
-You need to get away? From me, is that it? Is this about Dani?  
-Christ Li, stop making it all about you. Me leaving has nothing to do with you, ok? Or with Dani for that matter.  
-So why are you leaving? How can you be so selfish?  
-Excuse me? I’m the selfish one? Are you serious right now?

He had raised his voice, completely catching Liam off guard. Because, well... Zayn rarely gets mad at him.

-I ….  
-You made it clear that you’re a big boy, that you can take care of yourself and you can make your own decisions. That I don’t have to look out for you anymore, right? And guess what? You were right. I don’t care what you do or don’t do with Dani, or anyone else for that matter. I’m done with this shit. So fucking done !  
-What…  
-So fuck you, ok? I’m doing this for me. Only for me. I’m putting myself first for once in my life, damn it!  
-I’m sorry…  
-Shut up! …

He has to calm down. He knows he does. So he tries to steady his voice and his breathing. He hadn’t plan to tell him all of this now, but… Like on many occasions since they were kids, Liam doesn’t leave him any choice.

-Look, Harvard has been my dream school for a long time now and you know that. I applied without really trusting my chances to get in. But against all odds, I did. I’m in. And of course, it scared the shit out of me at first. I was like, there’s no way I’m gonna graduate from there. I put myself down thinking I wasn’t good enough. And going there on my own… I couldn’t consider it, even in my wildest dreams! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was all bullshit. And it was fucking unfair to the young boy I was. I realized that I needed this.  
-What do you mean?  
-Look, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. And we’ve been up each other’s ass ever since. We don’t know anything else outside this freaking town and our bunch of friends. It’s reassuring, sure, but it’s also paralyzing. So I think it’s about time we get the fuck outta here, travel the world and meet new people. And grow the fuck up. Of course it’s scary and it’s gonna be hard and shit but I think we all need this. I know I need this anyway. Maybe I won’t make it in Boston, who knows? If so, I’ll be right back here. Simple as that. But at least I would’ve tried. I need to know that I tried. And out of all people, I thought you would understand that.  
-…  
-Now excuse me, I have some work to do.

The tears come down his face the second he closes the door of the storage room behind him. This is why he took extra shifts at the store. When he decided to go to Harvard, he knew he was going to need more money. The fact that it allowed him to avoid Liam and Danielle was a bonus. But the truth is, the decision hasn’t been easy to make, even after Danielle returned. The idea of leaving Liam was unbearable. But like he said, he needed to get away and learn to live without him. He owed himself just that. Staying here for someone who would never love him back didn’t make any sense. It’s just… they have such a huge history. It won’t be easy.

After a few minutes, he gets out of the storage room, eyes still watered. And damn it, Liam is still there.

-You’re still here? I told you I had work to do.

The irritation in his voice is unmissable. Zayn turns around to wipe the last of his tears but it’s too late. Liam saw them and reaches out to him.

-Babe? Why are you crying?  
-I’m not…, he replies sniffling. It’s nothing…  
-Shit, I’m sorry I upset you. 

Liam grabs Zayn’s shoulders and shifts him. But Zayn immediately takes a step back. He doesn’t want to fight again. He’s so tired of this.

-Liam, I don’t wanna fight with you, ok? Could you please just go? I’m leaving and you’ll have to accept …  
-Will you please shut up and listen to me?

Wow. What got into him? Zayn watches him as he takes a deep breath and bites his bottom lip, like he always does when he has something important to say but doesn’t know how or is afraid to say it. And it hits him : he knows Liam in and out after all these years. He saw the best and the worst of him. He’s gonna miss him so much.

-You were right, I've been shit to you. I was being selfish. I should have known how important this was to you. I have no right to drag you down. And… and…

He seems to have trouble breathing. This is new. So Zayn can’t help it and reaches out to brush his arm. Because, well, this is Liam. That’s what Zayn does for him.

-Liam? It’s alright, babe, just breath.

And he does. But that doesn’t seem to slow down his heartbeat.

-You don’t make it easy on me, Christ! The words don’t seem to get out right…  
-Since when….

At that, Liam raises an eyebrow to silence him. So Zayn raises his hands in surrender.

-Ok, I’m sorry! Go ahead.  
-Listen, I … You… Shit…

He sighs, eyes down on his feet before looking back up.

-I think the best way to do this is to show you.

Zayn’s really confused right now and doesn’t understand what Liam can possibly be trying to say.

-Show me? What are you…

Liam’s lips are on his before he can finish his sentence. And the world seems to stop spinning. It’s like all his life and their whole relationship had come down to this very moment. Because holy shit, Liam is kissing him and it’s even better than what he had imagined through all these years. Because God knows he had. The kiss is so soft and slow. After the initial shock Zayn kisses Liam back. And it’s like it was all Liam was waiting for because he’s moaning and cupping Zayn’s face now. It’s deeper and more desperate. And maybe that’s what brings Zayn back to reality because soon enough, he breaks the kiss and pushes Liam away.

-What the …

But Liam refuses to totally let go of him just yet and lifts Zayn’s chin to make him meet his gaze, cutting him off.

-You said you loved me.  
-I… What?  
-You said you loved me, at Harry’s party, when we were both drunk and stoned as shit. You said you loved me because you thought I wouldn’t remember anything from that night as usual.

It’s true. Zayn told him that night. They had had another fight, because Liam got jealous of the guy he was dancing with, God knows why. So Zayn told him to piss off and to get back to Danielle and he left the party. But Liam caught up with him on his way out and they fought a little more. That’s when Zayn told Liam he loved him. Even though he was pretty mad at him. He just knows how he never remembers the events of the night when he smokes and drinks too much. At that moment, Zayn had needed to get it out of his chest, even though Liam would forget about it. At least that’s what he thought. Damn.

-But I finally remembered. Thanks to Niall…

Zayn blinks at him, then shakes his head, obviously confused. Because, yeah, Niall was at that party, but Zayn thought nobody had heard him outside Liam.

-What does Niall have to do…  
-Niall is a little fucker, he is, but he’s also a hell of a friend and he tried his best to help me remember without blowing it to me.  
-Liam, babe, I’m totally lost here…  
-You know what he told me? When he arrived at school and joined our group, he thought for two whole weeks that you and I were a thing. He thought we were dating.  
-Really?  
-Yeah! He said we seemed to be in our own little world, always right next to each other and having each other’s back. We were a pairing among the band.

His smile mirrors Liam’s. He looks down, blush on his cheeks. They do have a special relationship and get regularly teased about it, because like Louis likes to say, they’re “not supposed to have favourites inside the group, Christ!”. But the fact is, they are each other’s favourite. They can’t deny it. They clicked when they met in daycare and never lost sight of each other ever since. Never one without the other.Their little group got bigger and changed over the years but they remained the constant point. So much they got the nickname of Mum and Dad. So he totally understands that Niall had been mistaken.

-Anyway, I remembered what happened before you left, our fight about Dani and Andy. And it hit me. I was jealous. I couldn’t stand the way he looked at you and had his hands all over you. I saw red and snapped. I had to save you from that loser.  
-Liam…  
-I know, I know. I had no right to. And at first I thought it was the booze and the weed talking. But then I realized that I’ve never liked seeing guys checking you out or hitting on you. As a matter of fact, I’ve never liked the blokes you hooked up with. I always thought it was because you were like a brother to me because we both only have sisters and I had to protect you from the bad guys or something. Hence also the touchy-feely and cuddling habits we always had. But I know now that it’s more than that. I’m in love with you.

Zayn blinks at him again. He can’t believe what he just heard. That’s impossible. Liam can’t be in love with him. He had been dating girls after girls, for God’s sake. After Danielle, Zayn was there to pick up the pieces and help him get back on his feet. He’s been the only one of the group allowed in Liam’s bubble. They spent countless nights in his bed, watching movies, reading comic books and talking. The other lads got a little upset about it. And for a moment, Zayn thought it would make Liam realize what he had known for a while : that they were meant to be because Zayn was the only one who would never hurt him and would always be there for him. He was about to finally tell Liam how he feels. But eventually, Liam got ready to date again and everything went back to normal. And at some point, Zayn just stopped hoping and tried to definitely move on. That’s when he dated Andy for a while. Until he realized the guy was a complete tosser and nothing like Liam. Zayn felt so screwed. But he saw Andy at the party, while Liam was pressed against Danielle, and he thought why the hell not? For just this once? And then Liam stepped in to break them apart and everything went to shit. Could it be because he had feelings for Zayn?

-You’re … You’re in love with me?  
-I’m in love with you. And I’m so sorry I’ve been an oblivious twat for so long. Sorry that you had to watch me dating girls on a regular basis. I’ve been a total ass to you. But I wanna make it up to you and be the boyfriend you deserve me to be.

Zayn takes a step back to look at him, his defense mechanism getting the best of him.

-What are you doing here, Payne? You can’t play with me like this. My heart won’t handle it.  
-No, I’m not playing, I swear. You know I would never do that to you.  
-I can’t be your little experiment…  
-Babe, I’m serious as fuck. I want this. I want to give us a chance.  
-Now that I’m leaving? Are you serious? Is this a way to keep me here, Liam?  
-What …  
-How convenient…

Zayn turns around because he couldn’t look at him right now. Liam was doing this because he didn’t want him to go. He can’t really be in love with Zayn. He just wants to keep him around. Because it was easier and familiar and god knows Liam hated changes.

-Baby, please wait. Hear me out.

He reaches out to him and turns Zayn back around.

-I know the timing is bad. Like really really bad. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure this out. But it doesn’t change anything for me.  
-It doesn’t change anything? You gotta be kidding me! I’m leaving, Liam, in like 2 months. So tell me, how do you suggest we do this exactly? A long distance relationship? Almost right from the start? Really?

Zayn’s almost hysterical at this point, his voice pitched high. But he doesn’t care. Because this is beyond ridiculous. But Liam doesn’t flinch the slightest.

-Like you said, we’ve known each other since daycare. I think we could totally make it. We’re strong enough for that. But actually, I’ve been thinking while you were in the storage. And I came up with something. I could go with you.  
-You would go with me? To Boston?  
-Yeah, totally.  
-Babe, this is my dream, not yours. I can’t ask you to make that kind of sacrifice.  
-Listen, it wouldn’t be a sacrifice, at all. I have no little siblings to look after. My sisters are already off to college. My parents will be just fine, finally on their own. Besides, I don’t care where I study. There are many schools in Cambridge, not to mention Boston. I’ll have no trouble finding something for myself.  
-I don’t know. That still sounds like too much to me …  
-Zaynie, I’m not suggesting we get married. Not just yet! 

He winks at Zayn. Well, he tries anyway because he can’t wink to save his life actually. He always ends up closing both eyes. Zayn rolls his eyes fondly, because damn, he can be so endearing.

-Nor that we move together. I think we should take this step by step and not fuck it up. So we’ll figure something out when we get there. But here’s the thing: I don’t wanna be away from you, not now, not ever. We are meant to be together. You are my soul mate. This - he waves between the two of them - this thing we have since we were kids is worth fighting for. You can’t tell me otherwise.  
-You’re so cheesy.  
-But you love it, admit it.  
-Maybe…  
-Seriously. These few years you’re gonna be in college, I don’t wanna miss them. I wanna be there and witness it as you turn out to be a wonderful and brilliant young man who will make a big difference in this world.  
-Waouh, you have such a big faith in me.  
-Of course I have and I always had. I’m so proud of you already, taking this huge leap even if you’re scared. It’s so brave of you. You always have been so brave, and strong, and wise. Anyway, I wanna be by your side. I wanna share this experience with you, completely. Please, let me come with you.  
-Stop it, you know I can’t resist those puppy brown eyes of yours.  
-No, you can’t.

And it’s true. Since they were kids, Zayn had let Liam get away with a lot of his shit because of his eyes. On the other hand, what he sees in them sometimes, love, care, kindness, he wouldn’t have it any other way. So he sighs because they both know he can’t say no to Liam.

-You know you don’t have to do this to show me you love me, right?. Cause I believe you.  
-I know.  
-Ok, then. If that’s what you really want…  
-It is. Oh my god, this is gonna be awesome…  
-Shut up and kiss me already.  
-Glad we’re finally on the same page…

**Author's Note:**

> Come hit me with your comments. I'm soloziamwillbetheendofme on Tumblr


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